Dear Lover,

Thank you for taking interest in enrolling at Short Stack High, the bitchingest place on earth.

By enrolling now you get:

  • free download of a track from Short Stack's upcoming album
  • upon enrollment, please be aware that you will automatically become better looking
  • you will see exclusive footage of concerts we film and also deleted Short Stack TV episodes
  • you get a puppy*
  • you will get to play the Short Stack game
  • and receive some discounted merchandise
  •  

If you do NOT enrol:

  • your father will have an affair with his accountant... who is a large, bald man named Ivan
  • zombie gorillas will eat your hands and cut out your tongue with a blunt rock
  • you will start liking music by Fergie

Once again, thank you for your interest, you are making the world a better looking place.

Signed HEADMASTERS Diviney, Webb, Clemmensen.